July 6, 2012 by vlittle528
I have wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl swaddling my own dolls into a pink and white blanket that my grandma made for me. I was ecstatic when I saw my first positive pregnancy test and glowing when I saw the next one. I have been there and done it all since then. The fevers, the tears, the first days, the milestones, the birthday parties and lessons. I have been nurse, chauffeur, maid, cook, and everything else. Before you think I am about to write a story about how much I think mom’s should or would make, I am not. All I am asking for is a little love.
I want the kids to be just as excited when I am at their swimming lessons as they are the time or two that their daddy gets to be there. The smiles and excited waves and giggles just punch me in the gut a little bit as they forget to even tell me goodbye, throwing their towels at me as they run away. Every once in awhile, it would be nice if the kids would cry when I left to go do something, begging me not to leave like they do their dad. Randomly saying all day long how much they missed me…just like they say they miss dad.Most of the time I can deal with it. But the times that really get to me are the times that I told my husband that he really should do something or go somewhere or beg him to be at an event…and then he is the superhero in their eyes.
If I send their dad to the store with a list, I always include something with the kids…something I would get anyway but he doesn’t necessarily know about that. And then when he comes home, he gets praises and love and “thanks so much Dad! You are so cool and nice etc etc etc.” Of course, when the kids are with me at the store, it is expected that I get them these particular items. There may be a thanks, but I certainly am not viewed as Santa Claus.
I recognize that they will probably notice this when they grow up. I know that the absolute only thing that matters is that they are happy and feel loved by both parents. That is what is important. But I do hope they remember one day. I hope that they will remember that mom was always there Hopefully, their thoughts will be that they want to be there for their kids as much as I am there for them. But for right now, I feel awful unappreciated.