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LIving in Fear is not a way to live…

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July 20, 2012 by vlittle528

This morning was a bit surreal. Before I got out of bed, I had heard my phone beep a few times letting me know I had a text message. The first message that I got was from a friend asking me if my husband had gone to the movies last night and hoping he was home safe. I am not going to lie. I totally thought she was trying to gently tell me that she saw my husband with someone else (I know, drama queen). I asked what she was talking about and that was the first that I heard about the shooting at the midnight showing at The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora. I turned on my computer and saw tons of Facebook messages asking if I was okay. I am okay, physically. My children and I were tucked in and sound asleep well before midnight last night. My husband was thankfully working and safe (and not cheating-bashful here).

But so many were not safe. Last I heard there were 12 confirmed dead. One report said 50 hurt, another said 38 hurt. And those are just the physical injuries. All those families and friends of the loved ones lost and hurt. The emotional toll that those in the theater are going through. It is so far reaching that it is difficult for the mind to comprehend. As an example, a friend of mine knows a teenager that was volunteering at Children’s Hospital when the wounded children came in, or the teenager working the concessions stand when the shooting happened. The officers that had to see that level of blood and terror in a theater. All of this caused by one person. What shocked me was hearing the theories that this sort of mimicked a scene in the movies. I don’t know if it is true or not. I haven’t seen the movie. But the thought that the gunman was acting out a scene for some sick reason just makes it all the more evil…and makes me never want to see a movie again.

I feel like I am not safe anywhere anymore. It doesn’t matter where you are. The places that used to be safe no longer are. Way back when it was Chuck E. Cheese, then it turned into schools, malls, the park, and now movie theaters. I feel like no matter what I do I can’t protect my children. I can’t keep them safe. I have a fear that my family will be facing the same crisis that too many families have experienced through all these different tragedies.

all I can do is go and hug them and hold on tight. And make sure they know that I love them. Because as much as I want to I can’t put them in a bubble.

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