February 18, 2013 by vlittle528
The other day I was playing taxicab for the kids when I heard Tim McGraw’s “One of those Nights”. (Love that song). It took me back to times when I felt like more than just a mom. When I felt pretty and sexy and knew that my man considered me his “girl” rather than the mom of his children. Made me a bit nostalgic, a bit sad. And let’s face it, a bit frustrated and a little mad. I hadn’t had “One of those Nights” in a LONG time.
I called my friend and vented. I vented about not having a night where I felt sexy in a long time. I vented that I hate the new feelings my 35-year-old body is experiencing. I swear, all I am missing is some pimples and I may as well be a teenage boy! (If you have been through it yet, you will totally get what I am saying. If not…your husband will have a love/hate relationship with you when you get there.) And before I knew what was happening, I as planning a date night. Two minutes later I was visiting traveling sites to find the best rate for a room on a Saturday night. And then a half an hour later it was done. Our first night away from the kids in six years.
It was amazing. We went to our old favorite Dave and Busters and spent the evening playing Golden Tee, drinking very strong drinks and putting way too many coins in the coin dozer game. And then we had a great time playing an over-size connect four game together. I am not going to lie, it took a bit to stop the automatic thoughts of “the kids would love that game” or “Little man would be GREAT at that!” But we made a pact that for just a few hours we would forget we had kids. And so we did. After a great late night snack and some more cards and drinks in the hotel, we enjoyed each other in a way we haven’t since before kids. We didn’t keep looking at the clock or waiting for kids to interrupt us, we didn’t worry about tomorrow or dinner or whatever. We didn’t set an alarm, didn’t talk about what needed to be done for each kid the next day. We fell asleep wrapped in each others arms. When I woke in the morning I was able to wake up to a sleeping husband rather than children jumping on top of me and giggling. I hated to leave.
It definitely was one of those nights that I keep thinking about. That I keep reliving in my head as such a wonderful night. I think of the giggles, the flirtatious kisses and touches, the friendly competition at Connect Four. When it was time to cash in those tickets for a prize, I got the lion’s share. It wasn’t an automatic “what shall we get the kids?” Instead we got me a gigantic giraffe (my first gigantic stuffed animal EVER!) to remind us that we are more than just parents, we are still friends and lovers as well.
It was perfect. And if I didn’t already love my husband, that would have been the night I fell in love with him.
I could have waited. I could have continued to wait for him to show me some romance. I could have continued to complain and get angry. But what happened was so much better. It was so much more. Marriage is about compromise. It is about give and take. I could spend months and years waiting for what I want or I can make it happen. I spent long enough waiting for what I wanted when I was in the dating scene.
I am not going anywhere, we married for life. Too often women get wrapped up in trying to “change” or “train” their husbands. Sometimes, they do finally “get it”. They do learn, they do change, they do start to do things the way we would like them to. But they do it FOR us, not because we made them do it. And that is the way it should be.
So thank God for good friends that know the important of last-minute trips. Yay for me for realizing I was sick of waiting for what I wanted, and I could let it get worse or just make it happen myself. Maybe I will just have to make this our yearly anniversary date…