July 26, 2013 by vlittle528
Life is passing by. It is passing by as quickly as the cars speeding next to my new mini-van down the highway. In some cars I see the “old” me. The cute, thin girl in the stylish clothes that are a bit sexy but definitely not daring. I remember the days where my problems seemed so big, but now they are the “small stuff”. My mind drifts to the carefree days that I would do all over again, the days when I felt invincible.
And then I shiver to for a second as I pass the brutal accident on 6th avenue and realize for a horrible second that had I not misplaced my car keys YET AGAIN, that could have been us. Wow. I say a prayer for those involved, follow the other cars off the on-ramp, and go about frantically to pick up my son from firefighter camp, to which I am now an hour late and they charge per five minutes. In this single minute my mind is going from worrying about those in the crash, to worrying about my son, to wondering what COULD have happened, to hating that I was making this drive every day regardless, to wondering how the hell I was going to pay the late charges (Thank you Denver FireFighters Museum for being understanding! )
Thousands of thoughts go through our heads as parents in a day. Thousands of questions, what-ifs, theories, worries, stresses. And added to this, when it comes to friendships and relationships, I don’t think I have met one single person who has gotten it right. Well one is close. She is the one that I am honored to be allowed to call my best friend, Jen. She is very close to perfect friendship status.
And if you were to catch me in a moment and ask me the question of what makes her less than perfect, it would be the simple….Jen is human. Jen is Jen. She does her damndest for me. She does the best she can for her children. She goes above and beyond and doesn’t even second guess decisions that others of us wouldn’t even make. And believe me, to put up with a best friend like me she is next to Sainthood. But friendships, any relationship actually, are a changing thing. If we are doing things right, we are constantly changing, growing, wondering, questioning. Some people tend to think when you find new things and new ways of life the old must go. When you find a good friend, though, it is like a good marriage. You allow one another to grow and change and you adjust to the new them, the older and wiser one.
My friend and I are different in so very many ways. Our parenting styles alone would probably be on shelves in opposite ends of the bookstore. We are as opposite as opposite can be (other than our wine 🙂 ). But there are things we agree on. Fundamental things that used that don’t change no matter how much we do.
1. Respect. For each other, and for our families
2. Loyalty. To no end. We are loyal as the world is round
3. Family. Our families are the most important thing in our lives, hands down. And included in our extended families are one each other and our families. Her daughter’s cheer and field days are just important as my kid’s preschool graduations and little league games.
4. Support. There may be times we don’t talk for awhile (for the first few years it seemed to be that we didn’t talk at all right after Christmas through the rest of break, and now it seems to be the end of the school year) but there is one thing she knows and I know. Come hell or high water, our family, in some way shape or form, will be there for the other no matter what. And Jen, I can proudly say, did not miss one of my son’s coach pitch games. And he knew it.
5. Invisible strength: This is my big one. Jen may not know it, I certainly don’t say it enough, but Jen is my invisible strength. I often wonder how she would approach something. I used to wonder what she would think of me if I did something a certain way but then I realized something….Jen would never, ever hold something against me. If I choose wrong and it is a mistake, she will walk me thorough the decision I made, gently guide me to why it was wrong, and simply support me the whole way through. And she does so simply because that is who she is, and God certainly put her in my path for the “lifetime” category.